This will be a somewhat raw post.

I have a lot of thoughts and feelings right now that I can’t quite process.  As an INF, it’s very unnerving to actually not be able to process things that are generally very close to me.  My head has felt like a whirl.  Actually during the day the feelings in my stomach and feelings of unnamed dread would crop up from time to time, and I couldn’t understand what it was that was triggering it.  I tried to go back in my mind, what was it that I thought that brought me here?  Sometimes I would encounter the thought, but other times, it was lost.  Lost in the tape of a brain that keeps on playing.  Lost like the feathers that sprung from a broken pillow case.  Flying further as the time rushes forward.

There are other moments when time feels so slow.  Like today, during hot yoga.  I would close my eyes and my head would ache, my motions slow because I feared fainting in the heat.  My mind asking, “When will this be over?”.  My eyes drawn to the right to the girl next to me who seemed like a pro.  And to the backwards reflection of the clock in the mirror.  So very slow.

Then there are the moments when time stops a little and all I can think of is whether my judgment can be trusted at that point.  Like the moment when the B catches my hesitation and wants to know what my real opinion is, or the moment when I almost burn my tongue on a decaf breakfast tea latte from Coffee Bean.

Anyway.  I’m feeling kind of contemplative at the moment because I read about the story that inspired the movie The Vow and it’s just one of those things that kind of leaves you dumbfounded, thoughtful, hopeful, and sad.  And also grateful for their faith.


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