Disapproval and ADHD

I was randomly Googling a question today about my need for approval, after a particularly interesting start of the week where I felt that someone was unhappy with me because of carelessness on my part.

And then I stumbled on this.

“Nearly everyone with ADHD answers an emphatic yes to the question: “Have you always been more sensitive than others to rejection, teasing, criticism, or your own perception that you have failed or fallen short?” This is the definition of a condition called rejection-sensitive dysphoria.”

What?  I’m starting to think there is more to this ADHD thing than I initially thought.  Something that I originally only attributed to a certain little boy I know who outstandingly demonstrates the “H” part of ADHD is now vastly more intricate than I could have ever guessed.  Who knew that there would also be some bearing on emotional response, and that the majority of women who are diagnosed with it first come in because of something else like depression or anxiety?  (That link is crazy by the way, describes the ADHD nervous system which I completely understand)

The inability to use importance and rewards to get motivated has a lifelong impact on ADHDers’ lives:

How can those diagnosed with the condition choose between multiple options if they can’t use the concepts of importance and financial rewards to motivate them?

Yes, good question.  I have often felt this way about “importance” (who decides what is important?) and financial rewards.

“A job that provides public accountability, along with more immediate and enjoyable consequences, can be ideal for those with ADD,” says Barkley. “Perhaps this is why 35 percent of people with ADD are self-employed by the time they’re in their thirties—a figure far higher than the norm.”

And this is so interesting as well.

“I coach baseball,” notes Sears, “and I always put kids with ADD in as pitchers and catchers. As pitchers, their ability to hyperfocus helps them focus on the target, and as catchers, it heightens their awareness of the batter. Kids with ADD make great hockey goalies for the same reason. When the puck’s at the other end of the rink, they’re looking around, distracted—but as soon as the puck comes down the rink toward them, they click in to hyperfocus and become very alert.”

Very cool, wonder how many coaches notice things like this.  Still thinking about that little boy I know, as I’m certain he plays sports.

This website was of particular interest of me because recently my planner (see “About” page) is going unused.  It seems that the usage ebbs and flows.  My scraps are ramping up again, and this morning I also noticed that I had forgotten a critical piece of last night’s before bed routine.  I’ve also foregone a number of time-sensitive items and well, here I am, I’m not dead or anything.  That’s right.  I’m sort of frustrated though.  As we speak, I’m leaving myself about a week to study for the GRE.  For some reason, I think I’ll probably do okay.  That’s what usually happens.  But, I could accomplish so much more if only I could foc—

Candy Crush got this new version out that has the cutest owl ever named Otis.  Unbelievable.

Speaking of mindless games, I texted a dear father-brother concerning our need for increased love and face time with the Lord.  I bemoaned my tendency to be distracted by other things and my boredom.  He commented, prefacing it with “Oh Esther!  What can I say?”  and encouraged me to spend just a little time right when I woke up to breathe the Lord’s name and just be with Him, and then I could play games afterwards.


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