Eating out less

Today’s dinner was a messy conglomeration of half defrosted chicken that baked in the oven for so long and was still pink (but safe to eat, we found out) and salad.  There was rice too, but we forgot about it.  Life has been tricky in the cooking department.  Meal planning is still not my forte,  I mean, preference.  I mean I think about meal planning, and I just don’t want to do it.  The idea of making food that I possibly wanted to eat a few days ago but may not want to eat the day of seems miserable.  Is it more miserable than finding out we spent too much money on pho and In-N-Out because we didn’t feel like eating dumplings that night, and there was nothing planned?  I’m not sure.

I haven’t balanced last month’s money ins and outs yet.  Being grown up is hard sometimes.  As a teen, I hoped to be grown up by 18.  But when 18 rolled around, I felt quite juvenile.  Now, I’m a lot older than 18, and if I consider my age and what I thought I would accomplish by now for too long, well, it can be discouraging.  Often times, I look for inspiration to start something new.  Guidance of some sort.  Tips, rules, someone’s past experiences and knowledge, anything I can hang onto.  It’s nice that we live in the age of Internet now, where so much information is readily available.  But I think for me, sometimes it results in analysis paralysis and a perfectionism that might not have been as common in a world less connected.

I’m pooped.  Goodnight.

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